he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
