She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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