Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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