It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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