hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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