First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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