I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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