She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need moral support for this bender
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
