so that wasnt chicken after all
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
