Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize