Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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