how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Four minutes until I can fart!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
