i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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