Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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