I think I am morally bankrupt
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
