1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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