when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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