i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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