i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
