I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
