You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Randomize
