Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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