She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize