At least make sure they are 18
Why
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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