i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm at about main and main street
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
