I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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