This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
