haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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