I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
