everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm getting married
To pizza
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
