mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I have aggressive nipples.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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