But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
