I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
