xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
