Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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