Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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