just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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