the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
