You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
