Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You ruined the universe
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
