But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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