"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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