I must be too annoying 4 u.
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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