You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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