Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
