when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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