Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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