david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
