We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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