take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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