I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize