just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
