so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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