Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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