i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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