How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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