Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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