I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
