it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
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Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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