escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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