Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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