she smelled like a LAN party
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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