Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
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They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You don't make any sense
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